Hi everyone. I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for all of the heartfelt well wishes over the last week. It meant a lot to know that you were all thinking of my family through this very difficult time.
It has been a very hard week. Every day I start to think, “Hey, maybe I’ll feel better today,” but something happens, something small usually, and I start to feel so overwhelmed again.
Losing my mom was very unexpected. She was very sick. She had been sick for a long time but hadn’t been diagnosed as terminal so we all thought we had more time. A lot more time than we were given. On New Year’s Eve Mr. North and I toasted in the year with her and she told me, “This is going to be the best year ever.” After losing her so early into the year, it’s hard to let myself believe that, but I keep telling myself she would want me to do what I can to make this the best year ever.
These are the first words I’ve written this week. I haven’t felt much like writing, but tonight I was watching one of my mom’s favorite movies with my dad and there were twitches in my mind. A longing to return to the comfortable embrace of my characters, even though their lives aren’t always comfortable or safe. I feel safe in their world, and right now I need that.
I have hope that tomorrow morning I will wake up and feel ready to write again. I also hope to have at least part one of the next chapter posted to the site by Monday at the latest.
Thank you all for everything. I may have been silent, but your thoughts were with me and that helped me get through this difficult time more than you could ever know.